Welcome back from holiday Boris
Good idea StevenL!
Let’s hear your views on issues that Boris should concentrate on when parliament resumes in October.
Best answers for a signed latest Boris book.
Melissa
Webmaster
155 Comments
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Good idea StevenL!
Let’s hear your views on issues that Boris should concentrate on when parliament resumes in October.
Best answers for a signed latest Boris book.
Melissa
Webmaster
Good list, Steven. May I adjust the priorities?
1) Abolish football
2) Ban coriander
3) Ban banning anything
4) Ban anyone who bans banning
5) Ban everyone who wants to ban anyone banning anything
The rest follow.
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Steven_L – I am delighted and appalled!! (try doing that on one glass of vino)
Sweetiedarling allow me to correct you in all haste:
1) Design a new toty party logo (a new ‘totty’ party logo? like it, like it)
Bring back democracy for England
2) Impeach Blair and read CHRISTOPHER Hitchens (who’s this Peter chappie? some upstart no doubt)
3) Get a new bicycle (or a hair cut)
4) Sort out our criminal justice system
5) Start watching Al-Jazeera
6) Bring back NHS dentists
7) Engage more female voters
9) Get rid of some old legislation
10) Get me my tax rebate (If I post the form can you present it to his Brownship for me?)
11) Go back on ‘Have I got News for You’
12) Investigate the effect of top-up fees on admissions
13) Draft a private members bill banning the use of frash coriander leaf in curry houses
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I used to be in favour of anarchy but now I can’t be bothered (yes, I’m THAT old)
I’m all for communism but I’d like a blue one please.
I’d vote for capitalism but I can’t afford it.
I like coriander, I just can’t get it to keep growing – as soon as I get it home from Sainsbellys it goes bleurgh then dies
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Steven, “Toty party” logo?? I smell political disaster, perhaps you should offload that to Guido.
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And what ever happened to my Jack Russell Racing issue? You smug Northerners, you think it never happens, don’t you? Surprise!
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raincoaster – forgive my ignorance but how do you get the word ‘surprise’ to be a shortcut??
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OH NO!!! GLARING ERROR!!
#9 should have read…
9) Get rid of some NEW legislation
The old stuff was better.
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When I first suggested that a new Conservative administration should get rid of some old legislation, that included most of Blair’s infamous knee-jerk legislation as a matter of course!
As it stands in the UK today, if the police wanted, there’s something they could arrest you for every time you leave your front door. (And no doubt, even before that).
Minimal, but well-thought out legislation should be the watch-word.
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Some time ago I wrote to Boris Johnson outlining an idea I had which involved increasing financial incentives for those in higher education studying technological subjects such as physics and engineering – precisely the types of courses that the CBI recently complained are not being taken up by undergraduates in the UK. I received the stock reply to the effect that my letter may or may not be read by Mr Johnson etc. Fair enough, but imagine my surprise when I noticed the following passage from one of Boris’s latest contributions to The Spectator -
“We must encourage the uptake of crunchy subjects with an equitable system of financial incentives not just for those who teach them but also – why not? – for the students who excel in them; and we must do it as a simple matter of social justice.”
It’s amazing to think that both Boris and I had exactly the same idea on this matter.
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http://rachelnorthlondon.blogspot.com/2006/08/help-defend-free-speech.html
Thought Boris might like to know about this, since he is interested in the abridgement of protest rights in London.
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Raincoaster,
I ignored all your stuff coz ur Canadian, get your own kewl politicianz!
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Good one Lori – check it out folks, had a brief peek and looks good to me.
Mark Robinson – told you he listened.
When a man says he loves you, with caution believe him, but if he swears it, he’ll surely deceive thee. What people do rather than what they say is the best indication of character – God help Tony Bliar.
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Lori,
Mark Thomas is a very funny man, is he making a new TV series? If I was in London on the 31st I’d have been up for that and had a protest about the smoking ban.
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15) Bring back cricket in state schools
How many more times am I going to have to listen to a load of Ivory tower socialists ramble on about how to integrate our friends from the subcontinent into our communities better?
It’s startlingly obvious – bring back cricket!
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Assuming they want to be integrated.
And don’t already have their own private cricket team.
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As Boris is the shadow minister for higher education I’d like to see him look into ‘Complaints mishandled’ in Universities.
I’ve currently involved in a case where we’ve made a complaint (Can’t go into it for legal reasons) and its taken nearly 5 months just to get a reply from the university’s HR Dept!!
Complaints by students aren’t taken seriously enough and something needs to be done!
Hope you enjoyed your holiday Boris!
Best Wishes.
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Dear Boris,
as shadow minister for buffoonery and ‘bits on the side’ do you think that philanderers such as John Prescott and your good self should be given the choice of resignation or [removed by administrator] in the public interest?
I would also be interested to enquire if you have any views on anything at all which haven’t already been dumped in the trashcan labeled pointless, right wing, neo-conservative, elitist stupidity?
You are an ass. My considered advice is you should get out of politics quickly before anyone else notices.
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Am I too late to the party?
I have an issue that Boris may be interested in, though it doesn’t concern education or Henley.
I would like to see a law requiring paper shredders to have a longer ‘throat’ for the paper to travel down before it reaches the cutting blades.
The problem is that shredders were designed for an office environment. Now they are being bought for home studies and left (usually on the floor) switched on and in the auto mode. This means any small object that brushes the sensors will start the blades slicing. This link describes what happens to small children’s fingers and dog’s tongues when they inadvertently set off a shredder (is it a little gruesome).
http://www.snopes.com/critters/crusader/shredder.asp
It seems to me that by moving the blades futher down the shredder’s throat, these horrific injuries would be irradicated without making the item more expensive (beyond the cost of the redesign). I think this would be a good law.
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Regarding Chris Morriss’ point about reducing legislation, I once read a proposal to create a Do Nothing Party that would run on the manisfesto of promising to create no new legislation at all. The idea was to do absolutely nothing for the first term, allowing people and businesses to get used to the rules already in place, then for the second term they would start removing laws.
I have to say I’d vote for it.
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Elipsis – no you’re not too late. I’d vote for removing a few of Blairs new laws too!
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Steven, a clever attempt to reduce the amount you have to read. If I read with your level of comprehension I would also take this attitude!
jaq, all you have to do is hit the left-pointing bracket and then “a href” and then “= and double quotation marks” and then the URL you want and then the right-pointing bracket then put in the word you want and then the left-pointing bracket and “/” and “a” and the right-pointing bracket. Does that make sense?
So, for example:
http://raincoaster.wordpress.com/
Becomes best blog in the known universe, bar none.
Clear?
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I am being held for approval. Don’t hold your breath…I’ve never been approved by a Tory yet!
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On behalf of the sixth form students at St Mary’s College in Crosby, Liverpool, I would like to invite Boris to Speak at our Cuba Evening later this year.
We are raising funds to go on a conservation expedition next summer and Boris would be a star attraction to our event.
The people of Crosby would be thrilled to hear Boris’s views on the current political situation in Cuba and we feel it would be a perfect platform to dispel forever his alleged comments about our beautiful city of liverpool.
Please contact me by email or at the school with a response.
Many thanks,
V Patterson (sixth form student)
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Victoria Patterson – please email Boris with your invitation, his email address can be found in the ‘contact’ section, top right, at the top of this page.
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Nice one Victoria!
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Elipsis,
Re: Shredders
All consumer products are governed by EC product safety legislation. If your shredder was originally purchased for use in the workplace then it is governed by health and safety at work legislation.
So if you pinch the office shredder you are not covered, however, if you buy a shredder that is marketed for private use and it cuts off your kiddies fingers or dogs tongue you can sue the manufacturer or importer (unless the damage to your dog is less than 500 euros).
We don’t need any more safety legislation there is quite enough already thank you.
Raincoaster,
Haven’t you learned not to post more than one link at once yet? Or do all your comments have to be moderated now? Considering the frequent use of colourful language on your website I can’t blame Melissa for wanting to chastise your filthy tongue.
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Back in the good old days you would have been issued with one of these:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scold's_bridle
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I’ll vote for you raincoaster
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Bravo, I say. Always thought this silly fuss about perfectly good, old-fashioned words was a nonsense.
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Not so much fuss as rules we have to follow. C’mon people, it’s a good forum, let’s not spoil it.
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Points Make Prizes
Suggesting issues that Boris should concentrate on when parliament resumes in October,
here’s the running so far folks:-
Davide Simonetti – id cards, 90 day detention
Andy – immigration, sentencing and political correctness
Chris Morriss – “Far, far too much of the current government’s legislation has been grotesquely ill thought out and rushed. Even better, how about getting rid of some of the old legislation before introducing new.” I don’t know how he’d do it but raise the issue however, good point Chris.
Alexander – “the possibly negative effect that Top-Up Fees have had on university admissions…”
Lori – “the abridgement of protest rights in London.”
Spencer – “‘Complaints mishandled’ in Universities.”
And a mid-term winner has to be k:- I’m tempted to praise you just for the soundbyte “As far as I can see Blairs Britains biggest import is criminals and our biggest export is employment”
But K’s issues were:
misuse of the human rights act, crime and punishment, civil liberty and engaging female voters.
And if that’s not enough(!), the commendable effort to raise awareness of these issues, particularly safety for women (see link above)
K – you are a total star.
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Below is a link to the ‘Sustainable Communities Bill’ which new labour presumably want to become a ‘Sustainable Communities Act’.
The pretence of the bill seems to be more removal of local communities from the decision making process, in favour of more silly initatives and unwanted intervention from Ruth Kelly’s department. It’s one saving grace is that John Prescott no longer has responsibility for this rot. I hope the tories will be voting against this waste of tax payers money.
http://www.publications.parliament.uk/pa/cm200506/cmbills/187/2006187.pdf
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Oh dear … I do hope it’s not bye-bye raincoaster.
She made such intelligent contributions.
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Don’t be daft, we love raincoaster.
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Raincoasters blog looks like it hasn’t been updated in over 24 hours! Hong long before we alert the Mounted Police they might have a missing blogger on their hands?
Oh, and my tax rebate turned up today without me having to fill in the form they sent me and send a P60, which begs the question why on Earth they sent the form in the first place? So scrub no 10 on the to-do list.
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So here I am incapacitated and surviving on yogurt and ramen while my Conservative Chickenhawk friend is cashing government cheques. There is no justice in the world.
Word to the wise: never, ever try to switch your internal clock around from nocturnal to diurnal within 24 hours. I’ve had chemotherapy, and this was worse.
As I have explained privately to Melissa, I try to moderate my language on this site. At my blog, the safety’s off and it’s hair-on-the-walls time. Which reminds me to blog about Photobucket soon…grrrrr.
Thanks to everyone except Steven L for their support. To Steven L
hooey. I say again, Phooey! I now have greater incentive to beat you for the job.
jaq, look here for how to format links.
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Raincoaster,
To get a tax rebate, you have to have had a job before and paid tax.
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Oh, and thats the last time I plug your blog!
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I had a job before. Do you think I just fell off the turnip truck?
Go on, drown your grumbles in beer paid for by your government cheque.
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Sorry jaq, those instructions are WordPress-specific. Thought those were the proper ones, but obviously I should lay off the guava juice this late at night. I’ve emailed you the instructions; let me know if the computer eats them or something. Sometimes they do that with HTML-looking stuff.
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Thanks raincoaster, appreciate it.
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Why isn’t this piece by Boris on his blog? Or is it already, but I just haven’t noticed it?
Spectator. Issue 12 Aug 2006
That’s it, Uncle Sam
Boris Johnson
Right. That’s it. Entre nous c’est terminé. After 42 happy years I am getting a divorce from America. From the very emerging of my childhood consciousness I have been aware that in the eyes of billions of people around the world I have won first prize in the lottery of life. I possess it, the thing competed for by everyone from Rupert Murdoch to the most desperate Mexican wetback, and I have it by simple dint of my nativity, on the Puerto Rican Health Scheme, in New York General Hospital, NY, NY.
I am entitled to an American passport. I…
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“the thing competed for by everyone from Rupert Murdoch to the most desperate Mexican wetback”
The man is deluded. I’m not remotely interested in one, and neither are my kids, who are both in their twenties. First prize in the lottery of life? Sheesh … is he being sarcastic?
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You know, he doesn’t look Puerto Rican.
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Hi
Am back and Jaq has been policing the comments perfectly! Brill stuff girl!! and totally agree with K being a winner
Yes Idlex could well put on the Spec article if you like….
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Boris, A few points to think about,as my vote is up for grabs!
1) Too many people are getting away with MURDER using some excuse or other eg.”I didnt MEAN to kill him when i used his head as a trampoline”.(Judge reduces to manslaughter-unless politically correct victim group involved=”thought-crime”)
2) Transparency in sentencing so the public know how long will be served.eg.Life to mean life.No tampering with more generous remission to reduce prison overcrowding.
3)Build more prisons. (You dont just have to demolish them if the no. of crimes go down.You could turn them into backpacker hostels or something).
4) Better monitoring of criminals that commit serious crimes in one EU state and travel or take up residence in another eg.See
LOUISE JENSEN case URL above
5) Stand up to the Judges when they try to frustrate wishes of elected parliament when it expresses the will of the people.
5) No more speed cameras. Most accidents are caused by tailgating anyway.But-
6) Tougher penalties for drunk drivers and repeat offenders especially those who kill. Round here the penalty for drunk driving with no insurance/tax seems to be £50-£200! My car insurance alone costs me £250!
7) Amnesty for everyone with speed camera points in the last 5 years!
Thats enough for now.
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Melissa,
Welcome back, I sent an email like you requested on August 16th, got your out of office thingy then thought you were ignoring me. Have I won something?
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Hey Bozza, you’ve probably stopped reading by now, but thought I’d tell you that some obscure Lefty idiots from Scotland are taking pot-shots at you.
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Blogsite insomniac and Jaq linked to earlier is currently down at the moment (my antivirus software is not so good as I imagined)but will be back up soon. In the meantime if anyone who has their own blog would like to mention the Louise Jensen case (see previous postings) it would be much appreciated.
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Hi , K nice to see you re back. Seems you ve been nominated as winner by some of the regulars for the points you have raised earlier.
Sorry to see the blogs still down. I did try to post a few links in it and mentioned it in some other forums. Email me and i might be able to help out if you cant get it back tomorrow.
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