Air France
How a flock of French dodos could drag down Europe
It was when Air France told us that our bags were still in Paris, rather than Peking, that I suddenly understood why the French national carrier is, in my opinion – an opinion I am wholly prepared to defend in the libel courts of any European nation – the single worst airline in the world. My understanding of the problem had been slowly forming over the past 24 hours.
It began as I stared at the back of the pockmarked neck of the bus driver at Charles de Gaulle, his iPod wires dangling insolently from his ears, and I watched the passengers beg him to get his panting machine into gear and take them to the departure gate, and I observed his shrugs of dismissal as no one went, and no one came, and the bus stood still and the minutes ticked by.
My insight grew steadily clearer when we reached the gate, and the five shoulder-padded Air France women and three Air France men refused to let us on the Peking aircraft, even though the thing lay berthed before us for at least another 25 minutes, and even though we were late in making the connection from London only because our first Air France flight had been half an hour late in landing in Paris.
And so when the French national airline flew us five hours later to the wrong Chinese city, and then told us on landing that our bags would not arrive until the following day – even then, monsieur – I did not pop with rage. I did not allow myself to swear, even in French.
I laughed, with the weary indulgence of one who comprehends it all too well.
What is the salient fact about the 71,600 employees of Air France? It is that they are all, in one way or another, controlled by the French state because, in spite of the 2003 amalgamation with KLM, the French government is still the largest shareholder in this flock of dodos, and that means that the “workers” are all virtually unsackable. Why should he show the slightest consideration for his customers, this dilatory bus driver, when he knows there is no sanction his employers could use?
It makes no difference to the ground staff whether or not you or I get on the plane, even when we have arrived at the gate five minutes before it is meant to close, because their pensions and their benefits roll in regardless.
They can afford to laugh up their tailored sleeves at a bunch of despairing Anglo-Saxons, because they work to a different rhythm, and they have acquired disastrous habits that poor Dominique de Villepin is now desperately trying to cure.
More than 3,000 people were arrested yesterday in demonstrations against the French premier’s attempt to free up the labour market, the contrat de première embauche. As far as I am concerned, every one of them deserves to spend a night in the Bastille. Every one of the 800,000 demonstrators is supporting a piece of Luddite lunacy that has caused chronic and worsening chaos in France, and is now dragging down the rest of the Eurozone.
As anyone who has dealt with French baggage handlers can testify, the French devote less time to their work, when they work, than any other European country. They manage 39.1 hours per week, compared with 42.2 hours in Britain and 42.6 hours in Poland; and then there are the growing numbers of French who do not work at all.
The number of unemployed – the number of jobless people in France who might make more zealous bag handlers, who might show some gumption and get an innocent passenger on his plane – is now at a six-year high of 10.2 per cent of the work force.
Youth unemployment is at a terrifying 23 per cent and rises to 50 per cent in some suburbs; and yet there is almost no way of getting these people into jobs, because in France there is almost no way of getting the shiftless and idle out of their jobs, especially in the state sector.
In order to fire someone, French companies with more than 600 employees must go through legal procedures lasting 106 days. It costs French companies 2.6 times as much to fire a 35-year- old as it costs an English company; and of course there may be some people out there who are sometimes nervous about losing their jobs, and might wish that they had the kind of protections enjoyed in France.
But that is to miss the central economic reality, an understanding that was at the heart of the British labour market reforms of the 1980s, changes that have been very largely responsible for the 52 consecutive quarters of growth enjoyed by Britain and unemployment currently low by European standards.
The point is that if you make it easier to fire, you also make it easier to hire: and that is the way to get the economy moving. Anyone who cares about the future of the European economy – and it matters deeply to us, the fate of our leading trading partners – should get out to Paris and support de Villepin in a counter-demonstration.
At last someone at the top of French government has rejected the Colbertian lump of labour fallacy, the idea that there will be more work to go round if you restrict the amount that each person does, an economic misconception that has turned potentially productive French workers into lumps of inertia.
The crisis in France is affecting the whole of the EU, meaning that Europe’s growth will lag behind America’s for the 13th year in a row. Why do we hear so little from the British government about the complete failure of Europe to reform? Why, when France and Italy engage in a spat of old-fashioned protection, do we hear almost nothing from Labour except a mild protest, by junior Foreign Office minister Douglas Alexander, in a German newspaper?
Is it possibly because the Labour government is increasingly nervous about the way its own policies have swollen the state payroll, and does not feel able to criticise? Britain is still doing relatively well, but France is a terrible warning of what could happen if the current tendency is protracted.
187 Comments
It ‘s certainly socialism at work here , insisting on the relativist dioctrine’s practice.
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What was the real reason you missed you flight, Boris?
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Macarnie
I don’t think that the terms communism and socialism are interchangeable. Of course we could get into “It all depends what you mean by…”. I think that the free market is indispensible to a free society, but it is only a necessary condition not a sufficient one. There are positive moral attitudes in the thoughts of people like Robert Tressell and J. B. Priestley who would describe themselves as socialist. In fact Priestley lamented what he saw as the necessary evil of conformity in the socialist movement in its struggle to overcome the ‘waste of human beings’. He was wrong – it wasn’t necessary.
The current dose of New Labour socialism is doing little to end the waste of human beings and their alienation from work (Marx might have been righ sociologically on this one). Instead a flourishing of rigid and ridiculous regulation continues to take away what little fulfillment many people do find in their daily work.
Capitalism provides a means to living a better life. Despite romanticism about the past it’s quite hard for your moral and aesthetic sides to prosper if you are cold and hungry. Capitalism is not an end in itself nor a guarantor of that better life.
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One could also argue that communism, socialism and theism are not interchangeable, but each of the proponents of such theories began their theses with the base ideal that all are born with equality in worth.
It is the translation between theory and practice where the bottom falls out of these ‘isms’. In every society,there has to be someone more equal than the rest, or there is chaos.
Capitalism , tempered with thought for the relative wellbeing of ones fellow is the only way to go, IMHO.
But never mind , even this band of socialist robbers haven’t taxed thought ….. YET
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Boris, Thank God I don’t live in your country which allows a bunch of people like you with nothing else better to do than write a blog with stupid, insulting & pointless remarks.
What a load of rubbish.
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Peter:
Yes, thankfully you do not live in this country – otherwise your stupid, insulting & pointless remark might be taken as something other than the load of rubbish you posted.
;o)
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Peter – ditto Psimon.
excuse me folks as I am surrounded by grandchildren just wringing wet with excitement at being at their grandparents – if they run around any more we’ll be able to hook them up to the national grid and provide enough electricity to run a small town. So, I’ve escaped to a dark corner with a PC, hee hee hee..
On communism: my Dad says that if you gave everyone the same house, car etc, say a blue Ford Escort – someone, somewhere would want a red one.
Then a bloke down the road would install a radio and pressure would be brought to bear for everyone to have a radio, except Mr H, he doesn’t like music, thinks it’s the root of all evil. Why should taxes be spent on a radio when music corrupts society? Good argument, no radios. So other people put in radios and/or SMUGGLE in radios. Radios are stolen, radios become currency. And Miss B wants a silver car because silver doesn’t show the dirt so much and Mr P hates cards and thinks he should just have the money but that’s not allowed and Mrs J NEEDS a car because she’s in her 70′s now and can’t get about too well.
Communism completely ignores the human condition: no one else is quite like ‘Me’ and I want the freedom to live how I choose in safety. That’s it really.
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Eliza (just catching up..)
I like your poetry but ‘His love milk’? Eew!!!
(I’m so conservative, I’d never be an MP)
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Quite right jaq – hope you and the sprogs have a good time at grandma’s and grandpa’s.
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Eliza I’m inspired and have seriously tried to write erotic poetry, all I come up with is ‘ermmmmmmm’. It’s not for want of passion – ask the others on the blog, I really HATE Bliar; ask Melissa: remember when PH wound me up with his article about The Pill? I was born with the full compliment of emotions, honest. Don’t quite know where I’ve put them. Probably in the loft.
Time for some Puccini to get the juices flowing or it’s back to the Argos catalogue for me. Mmn, very attractive garden furniture.
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jaq, maybe you could do something with Blair, Puccini, and the milk marketing board? It’s a socialist plot, you know.
(OT: I am completely hating being in a mindless course all day when I should be posting insightful comments on people’s blogs, rather than starting up fights I never get to participate in. Got to go, teacher is looking at me…)
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I believe you Jaq! perhaps it’s time to bring things down from the loft too though
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U R a-m-a-z-i-n-g raincoaster : the greatest multi-tasker on the planet!!
(ps got the book yet?)
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No, I don’t think so Melissa – I’d be like Tony Curtis on the boat in ‘Some Like it Hot’ (really!) and if the journalist of my choice could persuade me, I don’t think I could afford the Milk Marketing Board!
Eliza – Puccini and Bliar? Hmnn interesting – they all die of consumption with Puccini!
Here’s a poetic interlude:
Long live love which dreams,
flares up and then flees!
Long live love which dies
in one night!
So cry then, damsels,
but only empty tears!
Long live love, etc.
If love has wings,
it is so he can fly away!
Boris, can you name that tune in one?
And a little something for PH:
sono la sua vicina
che la vien fuori d’ora
a importunare.
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Mon dieu, judging from the letter I just saw on the Telegraph website, it appears that the French Ambassador to the UK has gotten his knickers in le twist over Boris’ Air France travelogue.
If I read his letter correctly, I am supposed to understand that Air France is just fine, merci beaucoup – not because their performance is better than Boris implies but because that kind of thing happens all the time, they didn’t single Boris out and besides, they merged with KLM.
Let me see if I understand . . . piss poor performance is acceptable so long as it inconveniences everyone and not just the lucky few and is especially to be embraced if it can only partly be blamed on you.
Well, I’m certainly glad he cleared that all up. I think I’ll keep flying Continental.
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My tuppence on Socialism and Capitalism.
It’s all just about confusing wants and needs, or perhaps conflating wants and needs.
I need food …but I want a Ferrari.
Socialists think we all need everything. Capitalists think we all want everything. Both are wrong.
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I know what I want and i know what I need – sadly he agrees to neither, he’s a fundamentalist.
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No book yet, Melissa. I have already pestered them once, will have to do it again Saturday.
Communism isn’t a kind of Socialism at all. It is the opposite of Capitalism, and was formed as a result of the capitalist abuses which came to a head in the nineteenth century. Socialism, the idea that some items and responsibilities should be shared while other are subject to private authority, is a much older and far more sophisticated idea. Indeed, any government which exerts authority and offers services (policing, defence, garbage collection, power and water provision etc) and levies taxes in exchange can be said to be socialist.
See how cleverly I co-opted the Tories there? Buncha goddam socialists, eh?
Liberté, Egalité, Publicité!
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jaq, does that mean he only gives it to you in the fundament?
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The answer is don’t fly. Where else is there to go?
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Jaaaaaq…
I’m not fleeing…
Mr. Johnson is here. We don’t want to put Melissa in trouble.
No more love poems, okay? It’s all Jaq’s fault…
Puccini. Do a Madam Butterfly poem!
Take care, Jaq… Bye x
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Thanks, Jeromy.
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I’m in complete agreement Air France are terrible. I came back from Beijing via Charles De Gaulle on the 11th and not only was the flight from Beijing delayed 1h45 but the movies weren’t working so we sat for 10 hours with nothing to do and when we finally got into Paris we’d missed our connecting flight which was the last one of the night. We were put on the 9 am flight the next morning which was fine for me but my Russian friend had a flight from Heathrow to Moscow at 9 am and there was no way she would make it and she was forced to reschedual.
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Bring back the Airships!
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I was thinking that perhaps triremes might be a good idea. (Mac, have I spelt it right?). The idea would be that not only do you charge people for their passage but you bill it as a leisure activity with full workout and then charge them for the privilege of rowing the thing.
It’s green, it’s healthy and it would make megabucks pour moi!
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I’m sure you could get a grant to develop that. And if you employ students to build the thing, perhaps you could get the government to pay their salaries under some “training” scheme?
OT: Good thing I’m not a copyeditor. I just now noticed that Boris calls it “Peking.” He’s probably the only man alive who does so; frightfully dated.
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You old dog , you know quite well you have spelt the word correctly.
Three tiers for Jack !
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raincoaster – oh ha ha, very very good reply. Chris Hitchens seems to think that it’s overrated and I’m quite happy to take his word for it! Anyway, I’m quite done with all that nonsense.
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Eliza, forgive my naivety but, huh??
No more love poems? Didn’t you like it? not another one who critisises my enjoyment of music – it was ‘Aubade: Vive amour qui reve’ from Cherubin by Massenet. If Boz is there, tell him I’m surprised he didn’t recognise it.
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Jaaaaq, I looooved ‘that thing’ you wrote, I did… I meant no more love poems from me, Jaaaaq… By the way, I have just been told Puccuni was a kind of Italian coffee. And my mum told me never go for a coffee with a stranger… (giggle) Jaaaaq…. xxx
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From airships to triremes…isn’t a merging of the two called for? 3 decks of paying passengers who have to turn the propellers by hand?
We could be onto something here….
;o)
Psi
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Psi : sounds like something being launched from Brighton Pier with Jules Verne as the drum master i/c stroke frequency.
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Yes, quite right Eliza!
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Melissa, it’s Saturday night! Shouldn’t you be out somewhere – tripping the light fandango? Come to think of it – what the heck am I doing here? Anyone have a fandango that needs tripping?
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Psimon
This looks good! We need a feasibility study. This could breath life back into mechanical engineering in this country!
Can we get passengers/fitness freaks to turn the props fast enough to ensure their own carriage plus some left over for the equipment? If we had a time machine we could give the Ancient Greeks air supremacy over the Persians (or vice versa depending on your bias in ancient history).
Oh wow!
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Jack – nothing can bring life into mechanical engineering in this country – it’s a dead duck.
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Jack: A little pedal power would be good for warding off DVT
Jaq: Are you saying the Mechanical Engineering industry here is a victim of bird flu? I suggest you badger* your MP to give grants to students studying Science and Engineering, as opposed to student loans, to encourage the next generation
Psi
(*=before “They” kill all of the badgers, the bastards**!)
(**=the gits calling for badgers to be eradicated, not the badgers!)
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Perhaps we could do something about traffic in central London by supporting the reintroduction of sedan chairs. If you’re willing to be one-quarter of the power source, you can trundle around for free on the Transit system once you get tired. If you want to sit in the chair, you have to buy lunch for each of the bearers at the pub of their choice.
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There used to be a passenger ferry here in Vancouver that was passenger pedal powered. I can certainly see Boris getting behind something like that. It was, as far as I can recall (after half a bottle of CabSauv) run out of business by the phalanx of fossil-fuel ferries.
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dmnyc, what the hell is a fandango anyway? I knew a quarterhorse called that once, and even he didn’t know what it meant.
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fandango
light aircraft powered by pedalers.
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Fandango, from the
early fifteenth century Japanese.
Fan = ventilator; or propellor
Dan = coloured belt
Go= A two player game.
Hence the compound word which means ” The ‘to-do’ one has when the pedal driven propellor drive belt breaks.
The Japanese of course ,invented the ” Hally Potter” before Leonardo , but there was no one there to see it, so it remained one of the undiscovered wonders of the World for a long time, by which time oil had been discovered, thus outdating the invention.
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dmnyc, what the hell is a fandango anyway?
in addition to being a rather dreadful film from 1985, fandango is a Spanish dance – sometimes involving castanets.
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Hear, hear Boris! The Italian national carrier is only just better than AirFrance, and I completely agree that the EU is a Franco-protectionist mess right now.
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Oh, Jaq. I’m so sorry. I was only joking.
‘Long live love which dreams,
Flares up and then flees!
Long live love which dies
In one night!’ ?
That’s very beautiful but so sad, Jaq. But I loved it. Love should be beautiful and sad…
God bless you at Easter, Jaq x
And you, too, Melissa.
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I spent a chunk of yesterday trying to get back into the UK despite the best intentions One (allegedly a railway company) and our glorious passport agency. anyway, for disrespect, inefficiency, rudeness and making me ashamed to be british, there was no real difference between public and private sector. The similarities of course lay in the tiny numbers of staff, lack of information and overwhelming smell of crappy, target driven, bottom-line management. So no dodos here then!
you vile, ignorant buffoon.
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< ianrs said:>
< you vile, ignorant buffoon.<
What an unusual signature!
)
Psi
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I presume the word ‘dudos’, in the penultimate line of ianrs’ rant, was a reference to the fame and renown earned by a long dead member of the columbiforme family : Raphus cucullatus.
The question as to how he came observe the tuft of curly feathers high on the rear ends of these birds,as a means of identification, will remain , I hope, forever unanswered.
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Hope you had a great Easter too, Eliza – and all you others on this site – you kept me well entertained!
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All this talk of endless ‘isms’ and the French has compelled me to blog about Lannie Frotage & His Anarchist Caravan.
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