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Pendennis
Sunday June 12, 2005
The Observer

- ..Boris Johnson. The MP-cum-columnist-cum-editor-cum-motoring correspondent was taking a holiday on a Greek island recently when he bumped into some of this nation’s electorate. Typically droll salutations, according to Boris’s sensational new blog, included: ‘Oi, Boris, long way from Henley’, and: ‘Don’t you MPs do any work?’ Forgive them, Boris for they know not what they do.

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Seemed a bit sarcastic to me. Maybe Pendennis, as a mainstream journalist, is not enamoured of the blogging world?

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Forget them! They think that Tories want to burn working-class people in oil, and that life is all about getting hold of smartly-dressed Englishmen and throttling them because they care about their history and speak English fluently. It’s a typical article from the disillusioned of our country – noticeable by their lack of suggestions for how to improve life. Forgive them, for alas, they can only whinge. Keep up the good work, Boris.

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Just in case any of you haven’t heard, there was another Damning Street Memo released. This one even more damning than the last.

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You have to be a star to overcome some of the comments, but this tongue-in-cheek Pendennis one is harmless. I view some of these hacks just as I would a little child so any ill-feeling quickly dissolves. It’s all a merry-go-round really. Interesting how this site picks up comments from far and wide -

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>Maybe Pendennis, as a mainstream journalist, is not enamoured of the blogging world?

I expect Pendennis has the same attitude towards blogs as most political gossip columnists have, ie. it’s a great source of free material!

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As an aside, Melissa, has Boris signed this EDM?

http://edmi.parliament.uk/EDMi/EDMDetails.aspx?EDMID=28464

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Alexander – which EDM? There are many he has signed.

Nora – yes happy to include you if I could understand your content. I tried sending you an email – do reply at JohnsonB [Email address: JohnsonB #AT# parliament.uk - replace #AT# with @ ]. Look forward to hearing from you

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Sorry for being so vague, Melissa. I meant EDM 263 by Neil Gerrard MP, that describes ID cards as something that: “will fundamentally change the relationship between the citizen and the state, diminish personal privacy and threaten civil liberties.” It also says: “That the present proposals do not provide properly costed, proportionate or effective solutions to the problems they are claimed to solve.”

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Just replied, Melissa.
No worries.

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Dear Alexander,

Boris is opposed, on both practical and ideological grounds, to the introduction of identity cards in this country. As such I’m sure he will be more than happy to sign EDM 263. For a more comprehensive exposition of Boris’ views on the subject, check out his Daily Telegraph article, of 25 November 2004, entitled ‘Ask To See My Identity Card and I’ll Eat It’!

http://tinyurl.com/4yxmr

All best,

Olly

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‘Seemed a bit sarcastic to me. Maybe Pendennis, as a mainstream journalist, is not enamoured of the blogging world?’

If the mainstream journalists do not like blogs then all I say is – BRING ON THE BLOGS!

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Bring on the blogs – then we can tell them what we really and truly think from the bottom UP

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US “Homeland Security” would fancy eliminating blogs. I’ll wager a bottle of Glenfiddich on it.

Yep, bring on the blogs. There are already 10 million of them and 80% or more of them are tripe.

BUT cream rises. Onward and upward!

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true Nora!

I like your bit o’fun

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Hi boris, just like to say that your the best and most intellectual MP around, definitlly your best performance chairing Have I Got News For You, yes, I watch that often. BTW on the subject of TV programs, you would make an excellent addition to the Grumpy Old Men series, (no offence intended) And finally heres a bit of advice for the tory leadership campaign, look for a Prime Minister, not a Party leader. Anyhow when i turn 16 next year i will be voting for you! (if i can vote at 16? unsure about that- theres a bill you could pass for us boris!)

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The ID Cards Bill will probably contain fines so draconian that if Boris eats it when asked to produce it, this might cost him coniderably more than a Ritzy 4-course meal.

One provision in the bill is to make registration compulsory after the initial voluntary period (which itelf is a nonsense) and to fine citizens

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Kevin: che sera -sera. If the described dreaded card should be introduced: if the problems of 100% person recognition, taking into account the difficulty in making recognitive progress, iris wise, with regard to persons of Afro Carribean origin, can satisfactorily be overcome:if the aging process can satisfactorily be pre detected: if the price for this Wunderkarte should be affordable to the State, let alone to the individual: if we are still of this World; then we can worry about the possible fines, which might be inflicted for non compliance.I foresee Gordon’s Gordian problem, should the cards be introduced; unlimited fines for noncompliance. It is , certainly at present , a conundrum, wrapped in a puzzle surrounded by all the enigmatic variations, and then some, which Sir Edward Elgar envisaged .I cannot see it , at least ins present conception,being an acceptable, workable proposition

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Group hug. Group hug. 57 varieties here but a day without fun is an unhealthy one.
Has HIGNFY gone off for the summer? Wahhh!

Wish I got this many comments on my blog, but I’m too shy to publicise it here. Anyway, Melissa might be astonished by my liberalism. Nous verrons. :)

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Nora:
If you hide your light under a bushel; how can you expect visitors to find their way? Give us a clue!

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Cum on !! you’ve got to give us a smidgen of a clue Nora – haven’t come across your name before except in the lines:

~ Nora Malone, call me by phone
…open your eyes, when you arise
…callings are few, there’s none like you ~

How I love that Ruby Murray song!

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One corporate media establishment journo writing a sychophantic piece on another corporate media establishment journo. Puh!!! It makes me want to puke, all you wealthy fat cats scratching each others backs, nod nod, wink wink, ching ching ching.

The Telegraph, The Observer, The Mail, The Sun, The Independent… whats the difference???!!! They’re all corporate media appologists for the capitalist status quo. Only the Morning Star gives it to you straight.

Up the workers!!!

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You’re too powerful for me, Comrade ….

Just heard about the New Statesman New Media Awards. “congratulations you have been shortlisted etc” – Boris – well done! this site invites free communication and anyone is invited to take a pot shot! Is that why people like the website?!

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Comrade: Caution. You invite the obvious response Right Up ‘Em! (“And they don’t like it up ‘em Capt Mannering.”)

Nora: Just hit the button that allows a link to your blog. Go on go on go on go on!

Oh – shameless self-advertisment alert – my blog has just been rebranded and relaunched. Enjoy! (1 bloody comment so far. Wake up you lot.) Go on you know you want to…

Mac: What can I say. A most judicious view. And all to the strains of Elgar’s Nimrod. Ever seen Tim Brooke-Taylor in the popular 1970s telly prog The Goodies?

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Kevin: you had the guts to put on paper what lots of others were thinking in re. our pseudo red friend.And no! I wasn’t in the UK at all during the latter half of the sixties, all of the seventies, and only for the odd weekend in the eighties, so I didn’t see the programmes you mentioned. They would have been , presumably, better viewing than the talking heads which were forever spouting about that East German leader, Erich Honecker, the slater turned Communist lickspittle who ruled, with permission from Russia, the DDR. Those were the days when Bonn wasn’t just a French expression of approval of their farming subsidy.
The West Germans had , on their prime time TV, what they thought was a comedy talent: a Brit, Chris Howland who called himself Heinrich Pumpernickel,(it isn’t merely a type of bread), which gives an impression of how funny he was. Sorry about the digression Captain Mainwaring .

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Just heard an interview, on BBC radio 4 with Signor Geogio Analfi; Italian Minister for Europe. He stated that to join the Euro, is to get on a one way street. I thought the idea of European Unity was to put an end to the different interpretations of rules of the road, and thus allow a better; unhindered; traffic flow.
Whoever heard of French roadblocks, both in and out?

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Don’t be shy Nora, do tell!

There are 4 million entries for Nora
Not one gives the hint of a clue
There is a Phlox Paniculata,
And Columbines named after you
There’s a host of things all sporting Nora
But none I would think, rings quite true

There’s an entry for old Nora Batty
A name we’ve all taken to heart.
Complete with those old wrinkled stockings;
Making Compo, all but, fall apart.

So let’s take a gander at Nora
In Dublin’s fair city, no less
Stead of posing as fauna and flora
Give us one mighty clue; let us guess.

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yes – in Dublin’s Fair City where the girls are so pretty ~

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Kevin b – interesting new blog! what did you say your occuption was ….

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Oh Gawd. What have I done? Thanks for the verse, Mac. I love the “fauna and flora” line. :)
I have gastritis and the blog’s not been updated for a few days. But I will give the link. I promise!

Johnny McEvoy:

“Oh the violets were scenting the woods, Nora
Displaying their charm to the bee
When I first said I loved only you, Nora
And you said you loved only me …”

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Nora: Are you sure that the poem / song you quoted was not for Nellie? It rings a bell somehow.
And another thing! How does one get a peek at Kevin’s blog?

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See Kevin’s name above, Mac? Just click on his underlined name. It’ll take you to his blog.

And mine is at:

http://extra-extra.blogspot.com/

My pic is at the top right-hand corner.

Are you joking about Nellie by any chance??? The song has been sung for “Nora” and “Maggie” but otherwise not on anyone’s nellie, AFAIK.

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Nora: You are of course , right.Nellie was never in contention. I put the comment there so as to elicit a reply. I have entered a blog on yours this AM: some guy in Houston’s dilemma.
Hope your gastritis is of short duration.
Melissa, on another note . You said you liked your Ruby Murray. Vindaloo anyone.( Not a good choice with gastritis ,I fear.)

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Nora:

I like your site. A lot of interesting news and views. I laughed at the spray-on-mud idea for 4×4s.

Mac – not sure about vindaloo…? or how that links to Ruby M? or is it a double entendre

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Melissa, I think Mac is into rhyming slang? Ruby Murray/curry.

Mac: my gastritis is caused by aspirin prescribed after a double bypass 7 years ago. Funny how one has to take meds to counteract other meds to counteract other meds …

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You must be right, Nora; I didn’t cotton on. He’s way too brainy and over my head for me – whatever else at 9.00am?

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Cholesterol alert for Nora! I would have thought you were in the right pla(i)ce to get plenty of omega 3 oils, what with cockles and mussels paving the streets of Dublin. ( How is Molly these days; is she on a pension yet?)
Also :a word about reflux oesophagitis, and it’s aftercare.( from one who knows.)
=========================
A vindaloo’s enticing, when you’re full of Gilbey’s Gin.
Depending on what sort of state your Derby Kelly’s in
A Korma is less taxing, if you’re not feeling up to scratch
But, best of all; no curry: just pour water down the hatch.

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50 euro says Mac will be back with a poem on vindaloo!

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LMAO! He beat me to it!

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I must be missing out on something , or my brain is shrunk to the size of a petit pois. I tried, and was sure I was successful, to blog on Nora’s site this morning. Result. Zilch. I followed an apparently neverending path of signing in, and when, eventually I was able to make a contribution, it appeared to have been accepted. It’s not there now. Is there a blog eating leprechaun guarding the site ,I ask. If others have the same difficulty; it’s no wonder your answer pages are not full. After all, there is plenty there to be getting on with.

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I tried too Mac – there were no pictures, but a X instead. When I made a comment there was a pause while it was being digested and lo and behold it appeared! perhaps it’s stopped malfunctioning now

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Your comments are there, folks, and I responded to them. (I’m on broadband but if I post too many pics it slows the blog down for people on dial-up. Not sure why you’re having trouble with the comments function. Does it not just appear as a pop-up box?)

To catch up:

Melissa, thank you for the link to the snow pic. It’s lovely. I spent some time in St. Anton when I was more “flexible” and half-able to ski.

Mac: Howth Head (pronounced Hoe-th, not How-th) is at the tip of the northern arm of Dublin Bay. I live near there.

As for Molly, she’s been immortalised in a statue fondly known by Dubliners as the “Tart with the Cart”. Given their propensity for nicknames, the new Spire is the “Stiletto in the Ghetto”, and the water attraction which the Spire replaced was known as the “Floosie in the Jacuzzi”.

Love your poetic advice. :)

Must awa’

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Thanks for the tip Nora. Makes a job a bit easier if you know the correct pronunciations.
======================================
As I wandered, sort of lonely, to Howth Castle and beyond
I saw the Bailey Lighthouse, of which sailors are so fond
But, you know, on slowly nearing that famous Hill of Howth
I didn

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Nora: Do you know the Radiators’ song Kitty Ricketts? A classic song to end all Dublin songs about the ghost of a dead prostitute walking the streets of the Fair City (from the album Ghosttown by the Radiators, now available on the Cockles and Mussels compilation).

As one blogger writes: ‘Hard to pick out one track over the others, because they’re all brilliant, but Christy Moore and the Pogues have covered Song of the Faithful Departed, and rightly so. It is one of the most moving songs ever written about Ireland, all the more so because its sentiments aren’t the usual ones of rose-tinted nostalgia.’

Enough Paddywhackery.

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I’m afraid I don’t know the Radiators. (Does that make me terrible iggerent?) But I have very eclectic taste in music, and anything lacking rose-tinted nostalgia would appeal. I’ll investigate.

Do you have Irish connections, Kevin?

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Nora, does the Pope ***** [Ed: apologies Kevin - not appropriate word here] in the woods? Are bears Catholic? (er, got a bit confused there.) My mother hailed from a Connemara whitewashed cottage by the Atlantic (Cashel, nr Roundstone) and my father’s side are from outside Dublin (the other line from the East End and beyond that Germany, Russia, who knows).

The last time I was back I cycled round the relatives (Dublin > Galway > Tipperary) and I’m now planning a return visit after 20 years with family in tow. (Ah, hello Mad Uncle John or should I say the Wild Man of Borneo, no I haven’t eaten, tea would be super…)

I hear that people talk about property prices all the time in the cities but that places like Galway are also very cosmopolitan with gay culture notably visible in a way which must get old bastards like Father O’****wit howling with rage.

The Radiators are not well known but their front guy Philip Chevron went on to join the Pogues. Say no more.

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Melissa

Apologies accepted. I’m heartened to see that while s****y scatological language will not be tolerated on the blog, sexual swearing is OK. Or did I sneak that one under the radar?

*%$*!!

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It’s common currency on the web; there is even a section about the perso. Type F…..t into your engine’s immense data banks and see hat you get.

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