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Autumn Flu

48 Comments

Hello

Just had to let you know that I am stifling a most horrendous flu – post conference and Autumn side-effects no doubt.

Any tips for the speediest recovery?

Boris

48 thoughts on “Autumn Flu”

  2. Echinacea tablets seem to help lessen the effects and boost your immune system. Otherwise, I’m with Lori…

  3. I doubt very much that drugs are going to go down too well here, so…

    Orange juice and lots of bacon and scrambled egg on toast. Tonnes of it, and don’t hold the pepper. Works for me every time.

  4. Hot whisky, with a lemon slice, a cinnamon stick and some cloves will thunder through those blocked sinuses in no time Boris, at night time, not in the morning mind….. By the way, do M.P’s get sicknotes?

  5. Lemsip is revolting -it’s just chemicals with a high price tag. Does nothing.

    Ribena + 3 soluble aspirin + honey + a lemon sqeeze + microwave for 55 seconds… Perfect.

    A couple of scotches before (if the fancy takes you – not essential)and you will sleep like a log and sleep is one of the best healers.

    Did you know that aspirin first orignated from the spirea plant? … an almost natural remedy.

  6. I heard you on FiveLive this morning. I agree with you on the need for museum funding. It’s ridiculous to suggest (as Victoria Derbyshire did, in a simplistic way) that no-one cares about museums.

    For the insomniacs, the audio is here until tomorrow. (That’s the link to the whole three hour Morning Phone-In Show, jump to 2 hrs 3 mins into the show for Boris).

  8. Hey Boris, I always used to get told Chicken Soup…. Don’t know why, but I dont complain, as it tastes good even if it doesnt actually help..

  9. One more thing…

    Boris has really hit the big time – he now appears on Bremner, Bird and Fortune! Rory Bremner’s impression of Boris last Sunday caused a chuckle.

  10. Berocca. Effervescent vitamin tablets from All Good Chemists. They get me through everything from bad colds to hangovers, probably because of the 900% RDA vitamin C content. Might make your pee turn orange, though..

  11. Berocca in warm water with honey. Then some whisky – possibly gently heated with some more honey.

  12. How about moving to somewhere with a nice warm climate, like Mali, and taking the rest of your party with you? You could even gain useful employment there by being museum exhibits. “The party of the old-fashioned right who let all their ideas get stolen by Tony Blair”.
    You might even get funding from Britain when the People’s Republic is established.
    Alternatively, stay in bed, have lots to drink, and avoid appearing in public at all costs.

  14. Boris, lay off the booze – you need plenty of fluids not the dehydrating effects of alcohol.

    According to Louise Hay, we usually get flu because we expect to at this time of year and it’s a “response to mass negativity and beliefs” so not really surprising that it came straight after conference. The cure is to affirm as often as possible (yes just keep saying it over and over, you don’t have to sit cross-legged under a pyramid or anything) the following:
    “I am beyond group beliefs and the calendar. I am free from all congestion and influence” Believe that you will soon be well and so it will be.

  16. Flu is incurable but it is a great opportunity for (1) starting Proust or Gibbon, or (2) listening to all the Mozart piano concertos, or (3) collecting political jokes on the internet, or (4) redesigning your blog.

  18. Actually, I swear by Beechams Flu Plus (the caplets, not any powder crap). You still get the runny nose and cough (if you’ve got them), but it gets rid of the aches, pains and general uncomfortable lassitude.
    It basically downgrades it from flu to a mere cold for a while. It doesn’t sound like much, until you’ve got ‘flu, at which point you truly appreciate it.

  19. Damnit! I missed Bremner, Bird and Fortune, too! *scowls*
    Well, I wish I could suggest something Boris, but I’ve never actually had flu myself; just bad colds! I do, however, hope you have a speedy recovery!

    Oh, and to cheer yourself up, click down there on my name. 😉

  20. Amy (is that really your name? I can’t see anyone called that on your interesting blog.): just because the public appreciates museums, that doesn’t mean they can afford to fund them as individuals. I love visiting museums, which are a vital educational and cultural resource, but I am alas too indebted to various loan companys after university, to afford to donate to them. That is why the state should organise our collective wealth for the greatest good. When I begin to earn more money, I will happily pay my taxes to pay for our national projects, from social security, to the NHS, to museums. But I do agree with Boris that it would be wondeful if more people who can afford to made individual donations. Alas, humans are often selfish – we like to visit museums but don’t want to pay for them if we can get away without doing so.

    Aaron Brown: Great effort with your Boris Board! I was just thinking last night that it would be cool to have a forum to discuss Boris/Tory stuff generally, beyond this comments facility. Well done.

  21. Tips, Boris? Dunno … why not ask your friendly local Spectator doctor “Theodore Dalrymple”?

    BTW, I *was* feeling more upbeat about you lot, but having read the recent letter in the Telegraph from – IIRC – the leader of the EU Conservatives, I now realize that the conference “promise” to get tough on the EU is a lot of hot air.

    YOU REALLY DIDN’T MEAN IT, DID YOU?

    It’ll be the same as it always has been, Labour or Tory, the drift towards a European superstate continues. I thought Michael Howard might actually be different, but that letter opened my eyes: clearly he’s not.

  23. Wait until Nov. 3rd. John Edwards said when Kerry is elected people in wheelchairs will rise up and walk. A case of the flu should be no problem.

  25. Gallons of strong scalding hot Ribena. Also lots of Lucozade – if I get the flu, I have no interest in eating anything at all: lots of Lucozade, plus a little toast and marmalade will tide you over for a couple of days.

    When you start to regain your appetite, go for something like a really tasty (but not creamy) beef stew with potatoes. Save the decongestants for the times when you actually have to be able to think – don’t bother with them for a couple of days in bed.

    Get well soon, Boris!

  26. Hi Boris,
    Peppermint tea and some paracetomol usually fixes it for me. And a large Bushmills….
    Best wishes for a speedy recovery from your Irish fan club.

    Pip pip!

  29. Amy:

    “That is why the state should organise our collective wealth for the greatest good.”

    =socialism

    Are you a socialist? I hope Boris is not of this mind.

  31. Hi AJE. Lol, I doubt Boris is secretly harbouring a plan to impose socialism on the museum system! 🙂

    I dislike labels, or strict ideology, but yes, I do support democratic socialism. I realise my sentence, which you quote above, sounds a bit like the Communist Manifesto, and that isn’t what I intended. I wished to convey that because individuals are either unwilling or unable to donate enough to support museums, the only way to sustain a museum system worthy of our nation’s heritage is through taxation, with the state allocating money where it is needed.

  32. If it looks like a duck, and sounds like a duck… it’s a duck.

    Museums, historically, are indeed socialist institutions. Hopefully in his ministerial capacity Mr Johnson can deliver us from state paternalism, and allow the arts to flourish.

  33. The best cure in the world for flu is Children’s Dimetapp. Its American, so if you have any mates over there get them to send some over its the best!!
    Alternatively, brandy and hot milk. Hits the spot, does the trick and all that. But Chicken soup and Berocca are also good.

  34. A very very hot bath. When you raise the body temperature it kills the bugs. Ideally you should have these before you get flu/cold symptons and you should have a happy, healthy winter.

  35. maybe you friend Taki will have an advice of special nasal decongestant you can take? Hope you are feelings better soon.

  36. I find that a mad axe rampage around the Department of Culture, Media and Sport may help.

    Not for the flu. It might just help, generally.

  37. Boris, sorry but all you can do with the ‘flu is try and treat the symptoms – asprin, hot toddy, hot water bottle. Go to bed, keep warm and hydrated and wait for nature to take its course.There’s a lot of ‘flu about at the moment and it seems to be a pretty nasty strain of the virus. Frankly, I blame _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (you can fill in your the blanks there!). Get well.

  39. DONT mix parrots with alcohol, DO take vitamin C, DONT go near the kids or try to snog Mrs Boris. A man who thinks he’s dying with the flu is bad enough but him looming towards you all red nosed and snotty will just invite a sharp response! And | doubt she’ll want all 4 kids AND you down with it while she has to put her own aches and pains on hold to mother you lot. Do have a hot bath and drink a mug half full of milk and half brandy or whiskey with honey to taste before bed. You’ll sweat like a pig which is good but get the maid to change the sheets in the morning. Don’t try to snog her either – what an advert!
    Get well soon Boris old chap.
    PS: it’s my birthday today, I’m only slightly older than you. The post contained an unsolicited catalogue – fashions for the over 50’s. Sincerely hope you’re having a better day and please lets stop junk mail!

  40. AJE: I think labels are less important than practical solutions to fund museums. If you think it’d be cool to discuss this and other issues further, we could have a thread on the spiffing new Boris Board, set-up by Aaron Brown: http://boris.xinomorph.org/index.php?

    It’s a better forum for full discussions. So all you Boris fans get over there and check it out!
    Maybe I’ll post about museums later, but right now I’m missing Question Time…

  44. Here is a dead cert, tried and tested ‘tho not resorted to since the wee bairn came along…ergo a degree of peace and quiet is essential for this to work: Smiley’s people on the video, one of Freddie Forsyth’s paperbacks within easy reach and a regular supply of chicken soup. We’ve actually got a pot of the latter on the hob and would gladly contribute to the good cause. However if some willing soul in your household felt up to the chore, Marlene Spieler’s recipe is as reliable as any. We recommend parsnip added to the pot right after skimming the broth, and a pinch of saffron to finish. Feeling better already? Best regards, Shalom etc..Anahita Tammuz.

  45. Liverpool is the branch of the family you have to invite to a wedding and hope they don’t come. You only invite them to the church, and pray they don’t come to the reception.
    Whatever you say about Liverpool someone will take offence, and they will all turn on you, the row will simmer for years.They love a good wallow.
    I suspect the sales of the Spectator will plummit in liverpool, if they can remember what the name is.

  46. My dear Boris

    Notwithstanding my previous comments elsewhere on your organ…

    Best wishes for a speedy recovery. The world is a dull place without your hairbrain witterings.

    Cow dung and mustard – on the chest. Should do the trick.

    Toodle pip

    Milly

  47. I feel i must warn you Mr. Johnson that alcohol is no form of cure for a cold or even-in your case- the flu, as it wipes your immune system clean out. No, the best option is vitamin C, but this most be taken before the flu actually begins to take effect- prevention is better than cure and all that. and so, Mr. Johnson, I’m afraid there is no hope. you’ll just have to face the dreaded scousers all bunged up, that way you won’t understand a word that they say and they won’t understand a word taht you say. It’s perfect for the ignorant.

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